gzazJim
08-17-2000, 09:39 PM
Hi folks,
In the interest of keeping my sanity, I have taken some time and written some really bad computer-oriented Haiku.
Haiku seems to be the "new thing" on the web as of late, so I've decided to jump onto the bandwagon and try it out. Most likely you'll all think I've landed firmly under the wheels of this trend!
I hope some of you enjoy this extraordinarily BAD Haiku...
Thanks!
Jim
EXTRAORDINARILY BAD HAIKU
_________________________
Microsoft and Sun –
Can you not just get along?
Must we all suffer?
AOL is big.
Netscape was once very good.
Together – they suck.
Java Applet in
My webpage – why do you not
Do anything now?
Abort, Retry and
Ignore - These three words really
Can suck the big one.
Control, Alt, Delete –
Why do you beckon me so?
Windows will crash now.
My document has
Not been saved in a while now.
System now will freeze.
Darkness falls over
My monitors grainy screen.
The hammer has worked!
Silly little mouse!
So often have I used you.
Your ball is dirty.
System crash again.
Must I reboot constantly?
Motherboard is bad.
Alternate Backups
Such as a pen or pencil,
Are available.
Dirty words flow fast.
Cursing my OS aloud.
E Tu Macintosh?
Blinking, frowning face
I must rebuild my desktop –
Yet again it frowns.
Video input
Fails often on the website –
Try another card…
Lo, my hammer falls…
Splintering the computer…
Watch the sharp edges!
Bill Gates is very
Rich. He makes more money than
God. - I despise him.
Blinking cursor why
Do you mock my pain? Evil
Lurks in your cold heart.
Right-click disabled…
No toolbars available…
Still I see your code.
JavaScript has failed.
VBScript does not work now.
Netscape’s agony.
Microsoft envy.
AOL has it always.
Sun has it now too.
Dilbert Dot Com crashed -
My source of fun is gone now.
I guess I should work.
Windows NT froze!
Now be still my pounding heart –
My website is down!
Alice Cooper said
“Nothing’s Free” - I just hacked in
To Fort Knox Dot Com.
“Linux is easy!”
Unsupported hardware woes…
“Yeah Right” I say now.
Pretty blue screen now…
Has my document been saved?
Of course it hasn’t.
Plug in the keyboard -
The iMac turns itself on!
Bad hardware caused it.
Sleep little iMac,
So pretty in all colors…
Will you wake? Unknown!
IMac paperweight.
Updates will never come now –
Evil OS X.
Lonely Win 2K,
Do you dream of being loved?
Dream realistically!
Poor video game…
Lamenting loss quietly.
Your beta patch failed.
No video now.
Monitor has been broken.
Cables are tasty!
Cascading Style Sheet!
Why, why do you vex me so?
Browser Wars not done.
Java, where are you?
Had Sun just pushed you too hard?
Your glory, stillborn.
My eyes are blurring.
I have to use the bathroom.
Yet… must… fix… the… code…!
Access Database,
SeQueL code to be written…
Straight cannot think I!
Programmer I am,
HTML code I write,
Here I sit, coding.
In the interest of keeping my sanity, I have taken some time and written some really bad computer-oriented Haiku.
Haiku seems to be the "new thing" on the web as of late, so I've decided to jump onto the bandwagon and try it out. Most likely you'll all think I've landed firmly under the wheels of this trend!
I hope some of you enjoy this extraordinarily BAD Haiku...
Thanks!
Jim
EXTRAORDINARILY BAD HAIKU
_________________________
Microsoft and Sun –
Can you not just get along?
Must we all suffer?
AOL is big.
Netscape was once very good.
Together – they suck.
Java Applet in
My webpage – why do you not
Do anything now?
Abort, Retry and
Ignore - These three words really
Can suck the big one.
Control, Alt, Delete –
Why do you beckon me so?
Windows will crash now.
My document has
Not been saved in a while now.
System now will freeze.
Darkness falls over
My monitors grainy screen.
The hammer has worked!
Silly little mouse!
So often have I used you.
Your ball is dirty.
System crash again.
Must I reboot constantly?
Motherboard is bad.
Alternate Backups
Such as a pen or pencil,
Are available.
Dirty words flow fast.
Cursing my OS aloud.
E Tu Macintosh?
Blinking, frowning face
I must rebuild my desktop –
Yet again it frowns.
Video input
Fails often on the website –
Try another card…
Lo, my hammer falls…
Splintering the computer…
Watch the sharp edges!
Bill Gates is very
Rich. He makes more money than
God. - I despise him.
Blinking cursor why
Do you mock my pain? Evil
Lurks in your cold heart.
Right-click disabled…
No toolbars available…
Still I see your code.
JavaScript has failed.
VBScript does not work now.
Netscape’s agony.
Microsoft envy.
AOL has it always.
Sun has it now too.
Dilbert Dot Com crashed -
My source of fun is gone now.
I guess I should work.
Windows NT froze!
Now be still my pounding heart –
My website is down!
Alice Cooper said
“Nothing’s Free” - I just hacked in
To Fort Knox Dot Com.
“Linux is easy!”
Unsupported hardware woes…
“Yeah Right” I say now.
Pretty blue screen now…
Has my document been saved?
Of course it hasn’t.
Plug in the keyboard -
The iMac turns itself on!
Bad hardware caused it.
Sleep little iMac,
So pretty in all colors…
Will you wake? Unknown!
IMac paperweight.
Updates will never come now –
Evil OS X.
Lonely Win 2K,
Do you dream of being loved?
Dream realistically!
Poor video game…
Lamenting loss quietly.
Your beta patch failed.
No video now.
Monitor has been broken.
Cables are tasty!
Cascading Style Sheet!
Why, why do you vex me so?
Browser Wars not done.
Java, where are you?
Had Sun just pushed you too hard?
Your glory, stillborn.
My eyes are blurring.
I have to use the bathroom.
Yet… must… fix… the… code…!
Access Database,
SeQueL code to be written…
Straight cannot think I!
Programmer I am,
HTML code I write,
Here I sit, coding.